Tears roll down my face,
As my depression gets me again,
I hate it so much,
But sadly it is my friend,
I\u2019m not stupid,
I know my head is messed up and wrong,
Maybe I am blinded by it,
But then again, it\u2019s been happening for so long,
I look for the negatives,
In everything that happens to me,
I have a brilliant life with them,
But I just can\u2019t see,
I naturally put myself down,
I\u2019m so damaged and I know it,\t
I\u2019m scared of everything,
But not being able to show it,
Every morning I wake up,
And I put on my mask,
But I wonder, how long this fa\u00e7ade,
Is actually going to last,
I\u2019m so vulnerable,
I don\u2019t like life at all,
So I act the hard nut,
And I act the fool,
I don\u2019t know why,
But my brain is just impaired,
But to be honest,
I\u2019m just scared,
I hate life,
And how it treats me,
I really don\u2019t want to be here,
But I\u2019m scared of being set free,
I can\u2019t snap out of it,
It\u2019s the only way I know how to feel,
Depression and schizophrenia,
Make everything I face, nasty and surreal,
I try to fit in,
I try to make friends,
But I know they dislike me,
Because of the messages I send,
I\u2019m sorry for being like this,
I really can\u2019t help it,
I know none of you want me around,
And it makes me feel like shit,
None of you realise,
As you live from day to day,
That I feel like a burden,
And that I\u2019m only in the way,
I\u2019m very fragile,
And I shouldn\u2019t be,
I want to look after them,
But they\u2019re the ones looking after me,
I\u2019m a fucking liability,
And trust me I know,
And I wouldn\u2019t blame them,
If they wanted me to go,
I just want to be needed,
Someone who they can count on,
Instead of some weirdo,
That just tags along,
I feel so insignificant,
And like I don\u2019t exist,
I just want to be normal,
And that is why I feel like this,
I cry some more,
As the razor calls my name,
I\u2019m not looking for sympathy,
I do it because I deserve the pain,
I\u2019ve got so used to feeling like this,
This is the only way I know,
This depression is killing me,
As even when I\u2019m flying high, I\u2019m still pretty low,
I know I\u2019ve let them all down,
I know they are all ashamed,
I know I\u2019m not normal,
And I know I\u2019m not the same,
I can\u2019t help feeling like this,
Every day I feel blue,
And all I want out of life,
Is to be like you.
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tears roll down my face,As my depression gets me again,I hate it so much,But sadly it is my friend,I\u2019m not stupid,I know my head is messed up and wrong,Maybe I am blinded by it,But then again, it\u2019s been happening for so long,I look for the negatives,In everything that happens to me,I have a brilliant life…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=105"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":135,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105\/revisions\/135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}