Depression takes a hold of me, yet again,
I feel so alone, alcohol my only friend,
Quiet all day, waiting till the wife goes to bed,
Then I put a knife to my wrists, constant thoughts in my head,
No tears, no such thing,
Only a smile, madness is king,
iPod on, random select,
The depressing ones, always the best,
I drink, and drink some more,
Drown my sadness, like I did two weeks before,
Thoughts racing through my head,
Am I alive or am I dead,
I no longer know,
Should I stay or should I go?
I dream of death, and how it\u2019ll be,
I hear death calling, and death is all I see,
I am not scared, only you,
The reaper chases me, forever I\u2019m blue,
I have met the devil and he asks,
Future, present or the past?
And all this is all well and good,
Maybe I shouldn\u2019t, maybe I should,
Half a bottle down, nearly an all-nighter,
Smiling and laughing as the noose gets tighter,
My blood is pumping, only me I wish to kill,
My depression constant, death now the thrill,
Bye-bye world, the letter I have wrote,
As I\u2019m seconds away from slitting my throat,
In this madness I am overwhelmed,
Is it life I crave or to death I\u2019m bound,
All I want is to end my days,
But I am lost in this madness haze,
But I stop and ask myself,
Too sad, to even cry
How come the only time I feel alive,
Is when I truly want to die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wrote on 29\/12\/2020<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Depression takes a hold of me, yet again,I feel so alone, alcohol my only friend,Quiet all day, waiting till the wife goes to bed,Then I put a knife to my wrists, constant thoughts in my head,No tears, no such thing,Only a smile, madness is king,iPod on, random select,The depressing ones, always the best,I drink, and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=207"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":292,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207\/revisions\/292"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}