I don\u2019t know what to do,
Not anymore,
I\u2019m the lowest I\u2019ve ever been,
Lower than ever before,
I hold back my lonely tears all day,
To release them at night,
The depression and isolation was too strong,
And I\u2019m too weak to fight,
I\u2019m a few levels below just existing,
I am now just a ghost,
And the feeling of my heartbeat,
Is something I miss the most,
I am in purgatory,
A nowhere middle ground,
I am not alive nor dead,
Not pulse nor sound,
I\u2019m empty,
Hollow and cold,
And my white flag of surrender,
Is battered, bruised and old,
I don\u2019t need to kill myself,
Cos I\u2019m already past death,
It would be a waste of time,
I already have nothing left,
I\u2019m not even running on empty,
Cos I\u2019ve already been demolished,
And the void of nothingness,
Was the last thing I kissed,
I\u2019ve had a life filled with regrets,
Full to the brim of too many mistakes,
And I am no longer repairable,
As I\u2019ve had to many chips and breaks,
I am hollow and vacant,
Non-existent and unreal,
An abandoned vacuum of hot air,
That is empty and unable to feel,
I\u2019m now the bastard of nothing,
In the abyss of perdition,
A big bang of suffering,
A major fuck up collision,
I am a detachment of withdrawal,
A ghost in limbo,
Heavily floating from day to day,
Hysterically laughing for its soon to be crimbo,
I\u2019m the bastard of nothing,
Drunk and full of tears,
Baffled and befuddled,
Of how I\u2019ve survived 32 years,
But the bastard of nothing,
Don\u2019t need to slice his wrists,
Cos I\u2019m the bastard of nothing,
So I don\u2019t even exist.
Wrote on 26\/11\/2022<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don\u2019t know what to do,Not anymore,I\u2019m the lowest I\u2019ve ever been,Lower than ever before,I hold back my lonely tears all day,To release them at night,The depression and isolation was too strong,And I\u2019m too weak to fight,I\u2019m a few levels below just existing,I am now just a ghost,And the feeling of my heartbeat,Is something I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=393"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":397,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393\/revisions\/397"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=393"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=393"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=393"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}