As the woman I once loved,
Laughs and sings her hate for me,
I sit here begging life for the slightest bit of peace,
Just for a few moments, to know what it\u2019s like to be free,
The memories and demons they torture,
My beaten and fragile mind,
Screaming such vivid depictions of a time I wasn\u2019t myself,
Another life, a different time,
With the bottle asking to join me on my quest of broken nostalgia,
I choose to have only my tears,
And as the rest of the world sleeps,
I weep and whimper over mistakes of forgotten years,
And I do hate to moan,
But depression is forever my home,
And it\u2019s all I have ever known,
And I face it\u2026.. All alone,
As evil triumphs in its war against good,
Beating morals and respect to a bloody pulp,
I swallow the pain from my good heart,
With an arduous and troublesome gulp,
The families that are out there,
The kind that I wish I had,
Sleep on their woven blanket of softness and comfort,
Whilst I stay on the outskirts of society like a forgotten nomad,
And if ever the alpha does get tired of his treasure,
And his kingdom does collapse,
I drift like the lone wolf I am, to the now heartbroken woman,
And at his table, I beg for the smallest of his scraps,
And I do hate to moan,
But depression is forever my home,
And it\u2019s all I have ever known,
And I face it\u2026.. All alone,
I often go feed the pigeons,
Convincing myself it brings me peace and calms my negative self-reflection,
Or maybe, my mind is so messed up and broken,
That It\u2019s the only time I feel some sort of a connection,
But once they eat their food,
The food I spent my last bit of money on,
They fly away to the next person,
Cos I am no longer of use to them, as Humans and Pigeons share such a familiar sounding song,
When they have left, I remain sat there,
With my mind fading it\u2019s eyesight into a lost and distorted version of bleak,
I swallow all those silent screams and all my pain yet again,
I force a broken smile and I turn the other cheek,
And I do hate to moan,
But depression is forever my home,
Because it\u2019s all I have ever known,
And I face it\u2026.. All alone,
And this depression I have,
So sick and twisted it plays games with me,
Me, who is so institutionalised by the pain,
That I would still choose the darkness even if I had the option of being free,
My mind so lost and confused,
I long ago stopped asking why,
That I, a man who adores life,
Spends all of it wanting to die,
My life is so limited and precious,
Cos I know one day, time will not allow me to be here,
So I don\u2019t understand why I spend my entire life,
Trapped in the isolation of my tears,
And believe it or not, I do hate to moan,
But depression is forever my home,
And it\u2019s all I have ever known,
And I do it\u2026.. I do it\u2026 all\u2026. alone.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wrote on: 20\/09\/2024<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As the woman I once loved,Laughs and sings her hate for me,I sit here begging life for the slightest bit of peace,Just for a few moments, to know what it\u2019s like to be free, The memories and demons they torture,My beaten and fragile mind,Screaming such vivid depictions of a time I wasn\u2019t myself,Another life, a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/987","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=987"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/987\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":992,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/987\/revisions\/992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=987"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tdp.mtse.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}