I see a darkness,
Deep inside my soul,
I see a darkness,
Eating me up whole,
Day by day, sunrise, sunset,
I ask myself how much longer?
Because as I get weaker,
This darkness gets stronger,

I see a darkness,
Deep within my heart,
I see a darkness,
It’s been there since the start,
I used to try and fight,
I used to want to fight,
But now I let it destroy me,
All day and all night,

I see a darkness,
Running through my veins,
I see a darkness,
Calling out my name,
I could call it the devil,
But the darkness is far beyond that,
It circles me like a vulture,
And I can’t deal with that,

I see a darkness,
It won’t ever set me free,
I see a darkness,
Constantly torturing me,
This darkness, it said,
“I have a confession”
“I am all that is dark”
“The route of all depression”

I might climb to the top of a tower,
And shoot all you fuckers down,
Then put a bullet in myself,
Cos inner peace I’ve never found,
Maybe… I’ll just jump,

I might try and find a dealer,
And overdose on cocaine,
I might travel back to the 1800’s,
And just say I’m insane,
Or maybe…. I’ll just jump,

Maybe I’ll snap my neck,
If only I had the strength,
Or run to the edge of a cliff,
But deliberately misjudge the length,
Or maybe…. I’ll just jump,

I might go for a walk,
As long as it’s down the M25,
Walk into oncoming traffic,
Anything just to not be alive,
Or maybe… I’ll just jump,

I might swim out to sea,
That way I could drown,
It will be quicker though,
If I weigh myself down,
Or maybe… I’ll just jump,

I might slice my wrists,
Downwards, not sideways,
Cut the vein right open,
I might do that today,
Or maybe… I’ll just jump,

Too many options,
For me to decide,
I just need to kill myself,
Cos I’m already dead inside,
So fuck it… I’ll just jump.

I class myself a poet,
An OK one at that,
But my words come from a heart,
So damaged, cold and black,
I don’t mix my words,
I speak to you the truth
I’m honest and straight and to the point,
I’ve been like it since my youth,

So,
Nail me to the cross,
I’m a martyr to the king,
Put me to my death,
And let them fallen angels sing,
Praise oh, Hallelujah,
The poet is dead,
Let’s all ignore his words,
And everything true he said,

The greatest life,
I have never seen,
The paths I have chosen,
Have depicted where I’ve been,
When I write my words,
Some you may not like to hear,
But I write only what I know,
I have shed many a tear,
The Devil he tortures me,
And so does the Lord,
But I’m a fighter,
And the pen be my sword,


So,
Nail me to the cross,
I’m a martyr to the king,
Put me to my death,
And let them fallen angels sing,
Praise oh, Hallelujah,
The poet is dead,
Let’s all ignore his words,
And everything true he said,

Life isn’t all roses,
Falling at your feet,
It’s roses with thorns,
A kind of bittersweet,
I grabbed some pen and paper,
And tried to make a stand,
My words of wisdom and life,
Not the greatest of demand,
In your ears,
My words so uncomfortable,
They don’t sit pretty,
And so as a poet I shall fall,

So,
Nail me to the cross,
I’m a martyr to the king,
Put me to my death,
And let them fallen angels sing,
Praise oh, Hallelujah,
The poet is dead,
Let’s all ignore his words,
And everything true he said

Electric domination coming soon,
At the call of the 18th full moon,
No one knows where we actually stand,
Weather to run or shake cyborg’s hand,
Created by man but no one sees,
That we are still just chimpanzees,
In a land we try not to, yet still destroy,
We learn the technology as a young boy,
Out of work and down and out,
Machine over man the companies shout,
Artificial intelligence getting smarter by the day,
The Human race now just in the way,
We built with good intentions straight from the heart,
But the computer chips are now way to smart,
Soon it will come, man will run,
When Microsoft has a bigger and better gun,
Should we marvel at what we made,
Or all run for cover to the Everglades,
Try to live in harmony, man and machine,
But the potential is infinite, a tyrants dream,
A computer that thinks, is that even possible,
Our naivety let this happen, back to school,
The leaders they all met in secret underground,
So to disguise their plans without making sound,
We go to war man versus machine,
And we all die in electric dreams,
With half the world destroyed,
No humans remain just droid,
In the end we were to blame,
When we gave machine a motive and a name,
So here ends mine and your story,
With a message of fear and failed glory.

I’m drinking with the down and outs,
And the ex coke heads,
The people who wish,
That they were dead,
I’m drinking with the depressed,
The stressed and the anguished,
I’m dying with these good for nothings,
And there’s no way were gunner be missed,
Alongside me are the psycho’s,
The disturbed and the anti-socialites,
The bitterness runs through us,
As we start and finish fights,
The music’s playing,
But I’m too drunk to care,
Whoever chooses life,
Buyer beware,
The paranoid have turned up,
Acting weird and making a scene,
So have the dirty,
And so have the clean,
The fragile are sitting in the corner,
Quiet as a mouse,
They aint drinking much,
Even though drinks are on the house,
The self-harmers are here,
Crying into a kitchen knife,
They slice into their flesh,
Just like how they have been cut up by life,
The fighters, the law breakers,
And the running scared cowards,
The triers and the conmen,
Going backwards, never forwards,
The nervous, the twitchers,
The rattled and the shaking,
Are all sat drinking cheap Polish vodka,
With the rest of us forsaken,
The barman talks about the future,
And tells us all to stop and think,
Yet he’s the one,
Lacing us all with drinks,
I’m drinking,
And have been all night,
I’m drinking with all these wretches,
But there’s no one else in sight,
I’m a prisoner in my own head,
Trapped in a cage of hell,
I could of saved myself,
But it’s too late now,
Schizophrenia the bastard,
Has taken over my mind,
And as I finish my drink,
The bell rings for chucking out time.

Wrote on 07/11/2018