Society says “Be yourself”,
But it also say “Don’t do it that way”,
You have freedom in your voice,
But be careful with what you say,

We run around like rats in a massive rat race,
With our minds trapped in a rat like, sheep like, monkey delusion,
We are born free but imprison ourselves,
As we spend our entire lives in this concrete confusion,

Most people hate on the pigeon,
Their name being called Flying Rats,
But maybe them people are just envious,
Cos at least the pigeon can fly away whilst we remain forever trapped,

Trapped in the concrete of fake that we reside in,
As we trust our lives with the untrustworthy AI that is not real,
Our whole future written out for us,
By the chipboard, motherboard, stone and steel,

We are lost, misguided and don’t know where to go,
Running round like headless chickens,
Trying to get even more faster,
But in a forever state of go-slow,

As we silently die,
In the cold robotic algorithms of AI,
We constantly trip over our own feet,

We lose more and more of our way,
The more we stay,
Trapped in the confusion of the concrete.

Wrote on the 24/04/2026

Madness is reality,
Reality is madness,
The more we live in reality
The more we stay stuck in sadness,
The more lost in delirium we are,
The more settled our mind is by far,
Madness, gladness, compos mentis paralysis,
The story of human so far……

The crazy and the deranged,
The weird and the strange,
So called societies outcast’s,
But without the pressures of the masses,
And no care for the totalitarian money fascists,
The bird lives free, in peace, with it’s short time that seems to last,

But such clever monkey’s we are,
Lost in a time warp trying to track that shooting star,
We as a species have gone too far,

As soon as we are born we learn the prewritten manuscripts of the shepherds words,
A new generation of lambs to manipulate the herds,
A pen of our own we hold,
But someone else’s story we write….. so bitter and so cold,

And as our brain matures,
Over years and years,
We drown in sadness in the sea of tears,
Our boat capsizing,
As we start realising,
We gave away our time,
But we lived in our elders footsteps,
It’s somewhat flattering, but also not surprising,

I suppose It’s a case of monkey see, monkey do,
We are all unique but yet all the same all me and you,

Madness IS just a reality,
And a reality is merely just a perception,
Insanity comes feeding your mind with calmness and…… direction,
Allowing ourselves time to think,
Swimming in natures kitchen bowel and sink
Whilst looking at the rivers reflection,

But with tired and weary closed eyes,
And listening to the powerful web of lies,
Most will forever lay dormant in weary slumber,
Most will forever stay a name, statistic and a number,
Lost in the protection that is the heard,
But if you truly want to wake up,
Remember you hold your own pen……
So maybe learn to write your own goddamn words…….

The stage is set,
The encore calling,
Time to think for yourself,
Let your mind be free,
Under no one else’s ruling,
Time to look after your true mental health……

Wrote on: 11/01/2026

The songbirds of the morn and eve,
The natural conductors of the orchestra that is life,
Completely composed and fully in tune with their role as protectors,
Life givers, care givers and saviours of deaths knife,

The birds sing for the morning sun,
The birds sing for the night’s sky,
They sing for the re-birth of a new dawn,
And tweet for the night to give courage for the daylight to say good bye,

Their whistling melodies carry far throughout the air,
Sharing stories from the night and news from the day,
Singing homage and saying thanks,
In such a beautiful and calming way,

Sweet songbirds,
High in the trees,
Your bugle hello and trumpet goodbyes,
Keeping us all safe with your words that float on the breeze,

So as another night ends,
And another day begins,
Sweet little songbirds,
Forever may you sing.

Wrote on: 04/05/2025

When death and failure called me,
When hate and anger wrote me notes,
When bitterness and revenge tried to drown me,
It was peace and love that kept my spirit afloat,
.
Countless mistakes I have made,
And from each and every one of them I have learnt,
Cos when I was crawling through the devils fires,
I realised that peace was the thing that stopped me from getting burnt,
.
My eyes once only saw darkness,
But I taught myself how to see the light,
And I realised you don’t need violence and hate,
To be able to stay strong and win in your fight,
.
To do the right thing,
Sometimes is the hardest thing to do,
But a peaceful and happy outcome,
Is always the best for them… me… and you,
.
The fear of the unknown will forever remain strong,
But I face it with confidence as I face each and every turn,
Focussing on the pain and frustration in my heart always made me fail,
But it was from them failures that made me grow and learn,
.
And I do no longer care for the hiss,
That comes from the long and forgotten snake,
Cos the jungle sounds will always be around,
But no longer do I focus on all it’s negativity and it’s hate,
.
Even the webs of the spider,
That kept my woes forever entangled,
Has now lost its ability to trap me,
And from the webbed noose of bitterness I am longer strangled,
.
I no longer care for revenge,
For yesterday’s news,
Ahead of me is a path of anger and a path of peace,
And which one my life has, depends on what path I choose,
.
Cos when it comes to The Pen and The Sword,
Life taught me how to hold both,
But when I let go of one and I picked up the other,
My failures then started turning into growth,
.
.
I am an artist…
A troubled and broken poet of the damned,
And the darkness that once consumed me no longer stands victorious,
As harmonious Zen took the stand,
.
But I’m not saying darkness didn’t leave it’s mark,
And the burnt remnants will forever lay thick in my heart,
And my poetry that survives me, will forever remain dark,
But knowing how to want to live when you do not want to live,
That my friends……… IS the art…..

Wrote on: 02/05/2025

WARNING: Sensitive Subject…….

I wrote a poem about the regrets of suicide…… This is a very powerful poem and reader discretion is advised.

Please remember Party People…… You are ALL stronger than you realise and you never know what is round the corner. There are bad times and there is also good. Don’t let the darkness lie about the light not returning cos I guarantee you it will….. it just takes time.

Stay Strong,
You’ve Got this….

Now the Poem in question…….

Title: The Words From A Survivor That Gave Up Surviving

It’s been a hard day,
It’s took a lot out of me,
Yesterday and the day before was exactly the same,
I know I’ll never be free,

My thoughts have overwhelmed me,
All saying exactly the same,
I have to end it all,
My spark has gone, I’ve lost my flame,

I got no one to call,
And I don’t want to burden them anyway,
I’m fighting this all on my own,
They wouldn’t understand…… and I know they wouldn’t stay,

I can’t cope now,
And I can’t keep pretending that I’m ok,
This pain is too much,
I need it all to stop……. And this…. This is the only way……

.
.
.

And now as my soul floats upon the breeze,
I relentlessly watch the tears fall from those that I adore,
They mourn their fallen survivor,
And they will cry forevermore,

Now I’m with the angels above,
When I thought I was destined to be below,
I wish I spoke to the ears that would’ve listened,
Cos I convinced them I was doing ok, but all their broken hearts now know,

I float on the clouds in the heavenly skies,
As they relentlessly blame themselves,
I realise my family and my friends truly did have my back,
As they lay my ashes on their shelf,

And as time passes them all,
I watch all their lives gradually fall apart,
And I realise that the demons that took from me, my life,
Are the same demons that are now taking the strength away from their hearts,

All I wanted was for my pain to stop,
And I thought suicide was the only way,
But as I watch all of them below,
I realise all I did was send my demons their way,

A day they all used to celebrate,
Is a day they now all mourn,
I chucked away my life,
And with it, even more hurt was born,

I never truly realised how strong I was,
I only saw myself as weak,
I had power in my voice,
But I was just too scared to speak,

I convinced myself that death was the only way,
When in fact there was so many more,
And I wish, oh god do I wish,
That I realised all of this just moments before,

Cos the strange thing is, is that I was a natural born survivor,
And I foolishly gave up the fight,
And I’ve also realised that there is a fate worse than death,
And that…. is hindsight.

Wrote on: 10/12/2024

My shadow represents my soul,
Wanting light but lost in the dark.
My shadow represents my future,
Dull. bleak and completely lost of all its spark.

My shadow knows who I truly am,
Knows me more than I know myself.
It doesn’t need to be strong and it doesn’t care if it’s weak.
It has no need to hate on itself.

My shadow is more of a man than me,
Dark and forgotten, yet light and true.
It knows of all my pain and struggling.
It knows all my sins and everything I do.

It knows my strengths,
And also my weaknesses too.
Every memory it witnessed,
Every sight and sound of old and new.

But even with that information, my shadow will always have my back,
Never to judge me, hate me or harm me.
And it’s the only true thing guaranteed to stay forever in my life,
Plus the restrictive laws of fake will forever leave it be.

The shadow truly does know everything,
Locked in or locked out, it really doesn’t care,
My shadow, the only thing that whether in sun or shade,
Is always there.

And in my life, I do float like a shadow,
And I am also trapped and tied to this contract that is life,
We both dance with the daylight,
Like a drunkard balancing on the edge of a sharpened knife,

But looking at my shadow,
It shows me how truly cruel existence can be,
My shadow suffers as well,
For he is tied to a life with me,

In a light where darkness has no need to hide,
This darkness only appears in light,
Lost in the faded sun,
For his life he has to fight,

So hear me shadow, Dear shadow,
One day you may follow a new,
But until that day,
In darkness with me, you must travel through.

Wrote on: 31/03/2025

I’m trying so hard not to give up,
I’m trying so hard not to break,
But the more I try to survive and repair,
The more life tries to take,

I try to smile when I’m sad,
I dance when there is no sound,
I pretend I am not lost,
When in reality, I know I’ll never be found,

I feel so alone,
I’m scared and I’m vulnerable,
Believing that one day I might actually not wake up crying,
Like a sad and pathetic little fool,

I’m too damaged,
I’m too broken,
I have too much trauma,
That on the rope of self-hatred I’m choking,

I know I’m unworthy of happiness,
I know I’m unwanted in society,
But the loneliness plaguing my existence,
Is now making me doubt my own reality,

I don’t feel human,
Neither do I feel beast,
And on a dinner for the lost and the broken,
I sit and I feast,

All I have ever wanted is to feel like you,
And for once not feel like I’m a burden,
I always feel like I’m in the way,
And cos of this, my heart won’t stop hurting,

I know how I feel,
Is a mixture of my depression, childhood trauma and ADHD,
But I’ve spent all of my life trying to figure out how to repair,
And I am still no closer to giving the slightest of fucks about me,

I just pray that one day,
My sentence of constantly feeling lost is served,
And maybe one day I might actually feel human,
Oh Callum….. don’t be so absurd,

The thing is… I am just merely a droplet,
In the massive deep blue depression sea,
So as I struggle swimming in this Tsunami of the lost,
I guess I’ll just have to accept I am me.

Forever to swim,
Forever my frown,
Forever struggling to breathe,
Until the day I drown.

Wrote in late 2024 but finished on: 19/01/2024

The beauty of this world we cannot see,
Cos we are blinded by the bright lights from the neon fake,
And trying to find that peace that was once already there,
Was human’s biggest mistake,

We put ourselves in this daily nightmare,
When we were meant to live a dream,
We don’t challenge why or even question it anymore,
And nothing nowadays is what it seems,

We do our daily dance to the beat of chaos,
The confusion that is life, confuses us all,
As we lose touch with Nature, Reality and even our own minds,
We just plod along and accept it all,

We do not ask why,
And the slightest of questions we may ask, will be classed as absurd,
We are all underfed sheep,
Drifting from field to field in our lost and lonely herd,

And as we stand on our stage,
Completely deranged and filled with nothing but rage,
We, who were once born free,
Lock ourselves in that cage,

And as we walk these broken streets
We lose our peace with each and every breath,
And now the only pure thing we have left in life,
Is death,

And even that we refuse to accept,
And we confuse it with a made up power that is higher,
The so called super intelligence of man,
Makes the whole daily dredge of an existence nothing but dyer,

Cos being compos mentis in a homo sapien,
Is now no longer a thing,
And being a free spirit filled with peace and love,
Is now considered strange and a sin,

So the flickering street lights,
That reflects on the fallen rain,
Making it so much clearer,
That we will never escape our inner pain,

Our voice we silenced,
Our souls we sold,
We beat ourselves into the ground,
Losing grip as we tried to keep hold,

There was no war between life and man,
It was us who created the struggles and the fight,
And we are now left there to rot in memories of time,
Like a lost and lonely flickering street light.

Wrote on: 27/11/2024

I’m floating on a lost breeze of depressional rhythm,
Lost in an existence of nothing,
With only my conscience that is aware of my being,
My sleep deprived mind believes that the reality of life is actually a thing,

I am like a vibration on a guitar string,
As it is plucked from the tears that fell onto the saddest of all blues songs,
I am a mystical wave of smoke and air,
With only raw emotions showing me that the perception of reality is wrong,

Damaged and lost,
I, being an obscure figmental lone wolf in this world,
I fear everything in the dark woods that I call my home,
As my spirit dances in the fires of spirals and twirls,

I dance with the perception of death,
As I am death and I am also life itself,
I am a sound, rhythm, a thought,
I purely exist cos depression has strength and wealth,

I am completely sane and coherent,
But I am also completely trapped in madness,
Intelligent, Depressed, Incredibly lonely and sleep deprived,
My mind fails to repair in the raging storms of a PTSD mess,

So the pigeon’s flap their wings as I feed them,
And as I feel the smallest puff of air upon my face,
It keeps me trapped in this reality of fake,
And takes my being from that rhythmic nothingness of peace and locks me in this broken place.

Wrote on: 23/10/2024
**Side Note**
I have never been able to find the words to explain how my mind feels about my own existence. But I wrote this early hours of this morning and it’s the closest I have got so far…….

I’ve been raised up so I can fall,
I’ve been locked in a prison but told I can open the gate,
I’m told I’m worth it but they convinced me I’m worthless,
I’ve been institutionalised by the self-hate,

They tell me that I am unique,
Yet tell me I’m exactly the same,
They tell me my life has value and that I am important,
Yet they don’t even care to learn my name,

They tell me I am valuable,
But I am only worth what they say,
They tell me to go and enjoy my night,
Whilst they steal from me my day,

They tell me “Life is what you make of it”,
Yet I have to make it the same,
They convince me that I am destined to fail,
Yet they’re the ones that create the game,

I was born to live my own life,
But only, if I live it their way,
I’m forced to speak their words,
Yet they still don’t give a fuck what I have to say,

They tell me I need to survive and keep going,
Yet they leave me for dead,
They say I have free will,
Yet they put subliminal messages deep inside my head,

They tell me to make loads of money,
And to save it for all my dreams,
Yet they constantly rob me blind,
And rip my pockets apart at the seams,

This world is a confusing place,
With constant mixed message from they,
But apparently if it wasn’t for them,
They would be no such thing as night or day,

If they say stop, I have to stop,
If they say go, I have to go,
They play with our lives like we are puppets on a string,
And they have forever ran the show,

Time itself was created by them,
The whole universe dictated to us in this confusing play,
I feel so lost,
Cos a day is not a day unless they say,

They are such a confusing kind,
And yet no-one even really knows who they are,
But they run my mind ragged,
As I fail to chase my dreams in societies boudoir.

Finished on: 07/10/2024