Tears roll down my face,
As my depression gets me again,
I hate it so much,
But sadly it is my friend,
I’m not stupid,
I know my head is messed up and wrong,
Maybe I am blinded by it,
But then again, it’s been happening for so long,
I look for the negatives,
In everything that happens to me,
I have a brilliant life with them,
But I just can’t see,
I naturally put myself down,
I’m so damaged and I know it,
I’m scared of everything,
But not being able to show it,
Every morning I wake up,
And I put on my mask,
But I wonder, how long this façade,
Is actually going to last,
I’m so vulnerable,
I don’t like life at all,
So I act the hard nut,
And I act the fool,
I don’t know why,
But my brain is just impaired,
But to be honest,
I’m just scared,
I hate life,
And how it treats me,
I really don’t want to be here,
But I’m scared of being set free,
I can’t snap out of it,
It’s the only way I know how to feel,
Depression and schizophrenia,
Make everything I face, nasty and surreal,
I try to fit in,
I try to make friends,
But I know they dislike me,
Because of the messages I send,
I’m sorry for being like this,
I really can’t help it,
I know none of you want me around,
And it makes me feel like shit,
None of you realise,
As you live from day to day,
That I feel like a burden,
And that I’m only in the way,
I’m very fragile,
And I shouldn’t be,
I want to look after them,
But they’re the ones looking after me,
I’m a fucking liability,
And trust me I know,
And I wouldn’t blame them,
If they wanted me to go,
I just want to be needed,
Someone who they can count on,
Instead of some weirdo,
That just tags along,
I feel so insignificant,
And like I don’t exist,
I just want to be normal,
And that is why I feel like this,
I cry some more,
As the razor calls my name,
I’m not looking for sympathy,
I do it because I deserve the pain,
I’ve got so used to feeling like this,
This is the only way I know,
This depression is killing me,
As even when I’m flying high, I’m still pretty low,
I know I’ve let them all down,
I know they are all ashamed,
I know I’m not normal,
And I know I’m not the same,
I can’t help feeling like this,
Every day I feel blue,
And all I want out of life,
Is to be like you.