Depression takes a hold of me, yet again,
I feel so alone, alcohol my only friend,
Quiet all day, waiting till the wife goes to bed,
Then I put a knife to my wrists, constant thoughts in my head,
No tears, no such thing,
Only a smile, madness is king,
iPod on, random select,
The depressing ones, always the best,
I drink, and drink some more,
Drown my sadness, like I did two weeks before,
Thoughts racing through my head,
Am I alive or am I dead,
I no longer know,
Should I stay or should I go?
I dream of death, and how it’ll be,
I hear death calling, and death is all I see,
I am not scared, only you,
The reaper chases me, forever I’m blue,
I have met the devil and he asks,
Future, present or the past?
And all this is all well and good,
Maybe I shouldn’t, maybe I should,
Half a bottle down, nearly an all-nighter,
Smiling and laughing as the noose gets tighter,
My blood is pumping, only me I wish to kill,
My depression constant, death now the thrill,
Bye-bye world, the letter I have wrote,
As I’m seconds away from slitting my throat,
In this madness I am overwhelmed,
Is it life I crave or to death I’m bound,
All I want is to end my days,
But I am lost in this madness haze,

But I stop and ask myself,
Too sad, to even cry
How come the only time I feel alive,
Is when I truly want to die.

Wrote on 29/12/2020