The music is loud,
And people are having fun,
A miserable face is the only way I’m noticeable,
But happiness is only ok for some,
I’ve been sat in a pub for over 2 hours,
And still only on my first drink,
But I need pure noise and chaos,
Just so I don’t have to hear myself think,
I’m holding back tears,
Locking up my emotions again,
Trying to hide my self-hatred away,
Whilst convincing people to be my friend,
People say I’m genuine and kind,
And that I just need to believe it,
But most have only just met me,
And my infectious depression aint yet had time to hit,
In this pub I see dramas and laughter,
And then even more laughter and dramas,
But they are just being human,
Whilst I sit alone in the corner like a non-murdering Jeffery Dahmer,
The reason I can never leave this darkness,
Is cos I’ve never been inside the light,
And I can’t survive in this life,
Without having to struggle and fight,
All I want is to be a part of it all,
Or at least to feel that I am,
But even if my head allows me that opportunity,
I don’t think I can,
I’ve just locked myself away,
Way too many times,
So all I have now is darkness,
Alcohol, cigarettes and poetry rhymes,
So If I’m going to be alone in this world,
I might as well be alone in company,
And the good thing about being a ghost in the pub,
Is at least then me, they cannot see.


Wrote on 31/10/2022 (Not Proofread yet)