I wake up everyday,
And I say thank you cos I woke up,
But secretly I wish that I didn’t,
So can someone speak to life…. Cos I think there’s been a mix up,

Cos lately I’m annoyed,
That death didn’t take me,
Cos at least if I was gone,
My head could finally be free,

I’m tired,
Tired and worn out,
I’m drained and exhausted,
And all I want is out,

I feel numb and dead inside,
All my emotions, lost and gone,
Yet sometimes all of a sudden I’ll breakdown crying,
Like the chorus of a broken song,

All I’m doing lately is drinking,
Cos it’s the only time I’m not actually here,
But I’m drinking so much,
That I smell petrol in my tears,

My friends say “Call me if you need me”,
“You know I’m here for you”,
But they don’t realise that I’m not here anymore,
Plus if you wanna pretend you knew me, you could always get my name in a R.I.P tattoo,

Cos in my head I’m already fucking gone,
Even if I do manage to pull myself out of this,
I’m truly gone in the wind baby,
And now I’m just another statistic to add to the list,

So even though this poem isn’t finished,
I’m tired of writing,
I always swap a razor for a pen,
But not when I’m sick and tired of fighting,

So I will pray for death to come,
Before I go to sleep,
Like I have I done,
Every damn night for the past 3 weeks,

And If I do wake up tomorrow,
I’ll just have to cry some more,
Cos unfortunately,
I’ve been here way too many times before,

I have major depression and I’m used to feeling like this,
And even tho I want out, I’m not that lucky for death to hurry,
But remember people, It’s not now but the day I finally smile,
That’s when you need to worry.

Wrote on 25/11/2023