As the woman I once loved,
Laughs and sings her hate for me,
I sit here begging life for the slightest bit of peace,
Just for a few moments, to know what it’s like to be free,

The memories and demons they torture,
My beaten and fragile mind,
Screaming such vivid depictions of a time I wasn’t myself,
Another life, a different time,

With the bottle asking to join me on my quest of broken nostalgia,
I choose to have only my tears,
And as the rest of the world sleeps,
I weep and whimper over mistakes of forgotten years,

And I do hate to moan,
But depression is forever my home,
And it’s all I have ever known,
And I face it….. All alone,


As evil triumphs in its war against good,
Beating morals and respect to a bloody pulp,
I swallow the pain from my good heart,
With an arduous and troublesome gulp,

The families that are out there,
The kind that I wish I had,
Sleep on their woven blanket of softness and comfort,
Whilst I stay on the outskirts of society like a forgotten nomad,

And if ever the alpha does get tired of his treasure,
And his kingdom does collapse,
I drift like the lone wolf I am, to the now heartbroken woman,
And at his table, I beg for the smallest of his scraps,

And I do hate to moan,
But depression is forever my home,
And it’s all I have ever known,
And I face it….. All alone,

I often go feed the pigeons,
Convincing myself it brings me peace and calms my negative self-reflection,
Or maybe, my mind is so messed up and broken,
That It’s the only time I feel some sort of a connection,

But once they eat their food,
The food I spent my last bit of money on,
They fly away to the next person,
Cos I am no longer of use to them, as Humans and Pigeons share such a familiar sounding song,

When they have left, I remain sat there,
With my mind fading it’s eyesight into a lost and distorted version of bleak,
I swallow all those silent screams and all my pain yet again,
I force a broken smile and I turn the other cheek,

And I do hate to moan,
But depression is forever my home,
Because it’s all I have ever known,
And I face it….. All alone,


And this depression I have,
So sick and twisted it plays games with me,
Me, who is so institutionalised by the pain,
That I would still choose the darkness even if I had the option of being free,

My mind so lost and confused,
I long ago stopped asking why,
That I, a man who adores life,
Spends all of it wanting to die,

My life is so limited and precious,
Cos I know one day, time will not allow me to be here,
So I don’t understand why I spend my entire life,
Trapped in the isolation of my tears,

And believe it or not, I do hate to moan,
But depression is forever my home,
And it’s all I have ever known,
And I do it….. I do it… all…. alone.

Wrote on: 20/09/2024