I’m a man,
Or so they say,
But I’ve been at war since the day I was born,
And I surrendered earlier today,

I can’t take anymore,
It’s far too much to bear,
I was fighting for a cause,
Which is no longer there,

Everything comes to an end,
And mine is now,
My journey has to finish,
And the executioner knows how,

Hangman, dear hangman,
Gate keeper to the other side,
I want a trip to non-existence,
And I want you to be my guide,

Please don’t draw a crowd,
I’m not good with people anyway,
And I don’t really want to wait,
So please, can you fit me in today,

I’ve tried taking pills,
Too much of a coward for my wrists,
So please put a noose around my neck,
Cos I no longer want to exist,

Life is way too difficult,
Too hard for me,
So I’m checking out of here,
Only then will I be free,

I hope there isn’t a heaven waiting,
Cos I couldn’t do all this again,
Life is too much of a struggle for me,
Stress round every bend,

I don’t want anyone to grieve,
I don’t want tears to fall,
I want to be forgotten,
So string me up and kick the stool,

I wouldn’t mind the pain from the hanging,
It’s just the waiting around,
I eager for it to be my turn,
I need to be free and peace needs to be found,

I do hope that I am able,
To hear my neck snap,
Cos only then I will know,
I’m free from this trap,

I do hope it’s quick though,
I’ve no time to wait,
The angel of death is at hand,
And I don’t wait to make her wait,

For once I’ll be free,
Swinging in the breeze,
Lifeless with a smile on my face,
So hurry up and hang me please,

I don’t care about pride,
I’ve admitted defeat,
My enemy was greater than me,
And now the cycle is complete,

The world is such an ugly place,
But ironically now I can see so far,
And it was only in the final moments of my life,
That I saw how beautiful you are,

Thank you dear hangman,
For releasing me from torment,
I have found inner peace,
Even If it was only for a moment.

Tears roll down my face,
As my depression gets me again,
I hate it so much,
But sadly it is my friend,
I’m not stupid,
I know my head is messed up and wrong,
Maybe I am blinded by it,
But then again, it’s been happening for so long,
I look for the negatives,
In everything that happens to me,
I have a brilliant life with them,
But I just can’t see,
I naturally put myself down,
I’m so damaged and I know it,
I’m scared of everything,
But not being able to show it,
Every morning I wake up,
And I put on my mask,
But I wonder, how long this façade,
Is actually going to last,
I’m so vulnerable,
I don’t like life at all,
So I act the hard nut,
And I act the fool,
I don’t know why,
But my brain is just impaired,
But to be honest,
I’m just scared,
I hate life,
And how it treats me,
I really don’t want to be here,
But I’m scared of being set free,
I can’t snap out of it,
It’s the only way I know how to feel,
Depression and schizophrenia,
Make everything I face, nasty and surreal,
I try to fit in,
I try to make friends,
But I know they dislike me,
Because of the messages I send,
I’m sorry for being like this,
I really can’t help it,
I know none of you want me around,
And it makes me feel like shit,
None of you realise,
As you live from day to day,
That I feel like a burden,
And that I’m only in the way,
I’m very fragile,
And I shouldn’t be,
I want to look after them,
But they’re the ones looking after me,
I’m a fucking liability,
And trust me I know,
And I wouldn’t blame them,
If they wanted me to go,
I just want to be needed,
Someone who they can count on,
Instead of some weirdo,
That just tags along,
I feel so insignificant,
And like I don’t exist,
I just want to be normal,
And that is why I feel like this,
I cry some more,
As the razor calls my name,
I’m not looking for sympathy,
I do it because I deserve the pain,
I’ve got so used to feeling like this,
This is the only way I know,
This depression is killing me,
As even when I’m flying high, I’m still pretty low,
I know I’ve let them all down,
I know they are all ashamed,
I know I’m not normal,
And I know I’m not the same,
I can’t help feeling like this,
Every day I feel blue,
And all I want out of life,
Is to be like you.

Welcome sweet darkness,
Yet again we meet,
You laugh at my pain,
As I crawl at your feet,
We shake hands in alliance
As you offer nothing but pain,
But I keep coming back,
Time and time again,
Sweet, Sweet Sorrow,
Pain and hurt,
Convincing myself,
This is what I deserve,
Make me cry,
Make me blue,
You lead the way,
As I shall follow you,
Trapped in my mind,
Following your illusion,
I invite you in,
Into my intrusion,
Welcome sweet darkness,
Yet again we shall meet,
As you laugh at my pain,
And as I crawl at your feet.

I walk down this empty road,
With a crucifix upon my back,
Through the lions and the tigers,
Ready for the attack,
The sounds of the drums are beating,
As I walk into the unknown,
Not knowing where I am heading,
And all I want to do is go home,
The vultures circling overhead,
The wolves are at my door,
With the devil snapping at my heels,
Just like it was before,
I try to stay strong,
Even with tears streaming down my face,
I am nowhere on the map,
I am in my dark place,

It has no forgiveness,
It offers only pain,
And it brings you in,
Time and time again,
I scream at the top of my voice,
Someone please help me,
But no one hears my troubles,
The worlds to goddamn busy,
I’ve seen this dark place,
For most of my days,
And all I want,
Is for my troubles to go away,

As I fall deeper and deeper,
Into the bowels of my own personal hell,
I may have to fight every single day,
But this, my story, I tell.

I feel so different,
I’m an alien scared you’ll all notice me,
So I hide in the darkest of rooms,
Hoping nobody sees,
I can’t trust anything living,
But also can’t trust my own mind,
My home planet will send assistance,
It’s only a matter of time,
I don’t know how me being here,
Actually came to be,
But this crazy ass planet,
Was most certainly not meant for me,
If you know how to contact the mothership,
Then please send them an S.O.S.,
Let them beam me up,
Cos I need time to rest,
I won’t tell them your plans,
I promise we won’t invade,
I just need to escape Earth,
This planet like masquerade,
I look at stars and watch the x-files,
Hoping I recognise or remember,
Cos for the crown of the craziest and most doolally planet,
Earth is seriously a strong contender,
I do come in peace,
I just need to get back home,
Cos the more I stay down here,
I’m catching more of this homo sapien syndrome,
I don’t know if I have to take a trip,
All the way to Roswell,
But I will gladly do it,
If it means I escape this place of hell,
My anatomy is the virtually the same as yours,
But my mind certainly is not,
And I’ve been down here so long,
That my home planet I have virtually forgot,
I’m not the older generation,
Nor am I some kind of millennial,
I’m just an alien trying to get back home,
A lost but not yet found extra-terrestrial,
I’ve tried riding a push bike,
And flying towards the moon,
But I got sectioned and drug tested,
All in one single afternoon,
I have no time to waste anymore,
I need to get back to my planet quick,
Cos the more I say I’m an alien,
The more people think I’m a lunatic,
I don’t want to be tested on,
Or have my asshole examined,
Or locked up in a cage,
Threatened with starvation and famine,
So please ding a ling a ling,
On your magical banjo,
And whilst I’m packing my backs,
Please keep an eye out for a U.F.O.,
Cos as soon as they realise,
And try to make contact,
I’m 100% out of here,
This alien is going back.

Anger builds up inside of me,
Over the littlest of things,
I have a little chuckle and a cry,
Mind goes blank of everything,
News on the TV,
The worlds going to end,
But everything’s going to be ok,
At least I try to pretend,
My mind can’t focus,
On anything other than nothing,
I remember that song on the radio,
But I don’t know how to sing,
I sleepwalk most of the time,
But I think I’m awake,
Everything is so surreal,
In this dream like state,
The stress of it all,
Is taking its toll on me,
And all I’m trying to do,
Is be the man you want me to be,
I zone out all the time,
And hear nothing when you speak,
I need to see a doctor,
But he’s busy all week,
I don’t really know,
What’s happening around me,
I need a shower,
But my mind chooses what I see,
People all around me,
Laugh at the same old joke,
I would normally laugh,
But I’m not the same old bloke,
I have a little cry,
In the office’s storeroom cupboard,
I need time for myself,
As too much information is stored,
I drift from day to day,
Not really knowing what’s going on,
But I’m standing on top of a bridge,
Not really knowing what went wrong,
My clothes dishevelled,
My mind in a heap,
As I fall to the ground,
I smile and fall asleep.

Dirt under my fingernails,
Walking round in tatty clothes,
No money in my wallet,
But everybody knows,
Barely affording bus fare,
To get from A to B,
People walking past,
Looking down their noses at me,
My hair shiny with grease,
And a hole in my left shoe,
Trying to make a name for myself,
But not knowing what to do,
Shopping for Tesco’s reduced,
As every little helps,
Whilst the fat-cats shop at Waitrose,
For their smoked salmon and their kelp,
Oh how it would be nice,
Oh how it would be grand,
To have money and power,
In the palm of a poor man’s hand.

They are getting their missiles ready,
We are going to war,
A mushroom cloud on the horizon,
Nothing will be known about before,
Some people will pray to God,
While the rest will live in fear,
The time is coming,
The sound of bombs we’ll hear,
The leaders need to prove their point,
While we all die in pain,
No one will be around to see,
So it will all be in vain,
The armies they are just cannon-fodder,
But believe they are dying for a cause,
The government has manipulated them,
And used them like pawns,
The people will know no different,
As they haven’t a clue,
Even if they did,
There’s nothing they can do,
It’s too late now anyway,
As soon we will all be dead,
They’ve dropped an atom bomb,
Whilst you’re sleeping in bed,
So say goodbye to your loved ones,
As we have about five minutes left,
They will be safe in their bunkers,
While the rest of us will be dead,
Utter destruction,
The planet destroyed,
Nothing and no one left standing,
No point being annoyed,
I tried to warn you all,
But you said I was mad,
But democracy let this happen,
Aren’t you glad???
Don’t worry as the Earth will recover,
Now we are all long gone,
We had life handed to us on a plate,
But we just did it all wrong,
This life will be glad with us gone,
That’s for sure,
We will no longer control this world,
As humans are no more.

Laying semi unconscious,
On my sitting room floor,
Asking for it all to stop,
But for some reason begging for more,
Drugged up to my eyeballs,
And pissed out of my head,
Because I’m alive,
But inside I feel dead,
I hear on a distant radio,
“Love will set you free”
And I scream at the top of my voice,
Somebody please just save me!!!
I cry some more,
And then some more again,
Cry myself to sleep,
With my shadow being my only friend,
Draw out more money,
Already in my overdraft,
Buy some cocaine,
And try to have a laugh,
And I hear on a distant Radio,
“Love will set you Free”
I smile,
Just for a little bit,
As me and my dealer,
Snort and talk about preference to tits,
He lets me be,
As he has to work late,
And I sniff more coke,
And for a while I feel great,
Smoke a cigarette,
One after the other,
Go back to my baggie,
Just for another,
And I hear on a distant Radio,
“Love will set you free”,
And as I cry myself to sleep,
I whisper….
Somebody please just love me.

I am all you secretly need,
All you desire and crave,
I turn the powerless and the weak,
Into the courageous and the brave,
People say I’m the enemy,
But I am truly your best friend,
I don’t come cheap,
But I bet you’ll come back time and time again,
I don’t have an age limit,
As long as you know what I am,
I know you are weary,
But soon you’ll be my biggest fan,
I lie and I give you false hope,
Yet you will say it’s the truth,
I do no serious damage,
Even though there is proof,
I am the gangster,
That keeps this island a float,
I come from the better land,
On a small and poxy little boat,
I am your soon to be everything,
Don’t you dare defy,
Otherwise I’ll make you suffer,
And ask your god, why?
I’m the great pretender,
Soon I’ll be all you plan,
You’re a little space cadet,
But you’ll be my rocket man,
I’m an urban legend,
All well and alive,
I’ll make you paranoid,
Yet off it, you’ll thrive,
I am your nightmares, and your dreams,
I am the fake and the twisted,
You’ll hate me and curse me,
But I’m back, because you insisted,
I am danger itself,
I’ll make you cower in fear,
Yet I’ll be the only one,
Whispering comfort into your ear,
I am the dictator,
Our imported little friend,
Without me,
You will surely go round the bend,
I truly am what you need,
I am your pusher man,
I am the great storyteller,
I will give you a purpose and a plan,
You don’t think it now
But with me you have all to gain,
I am your make believe,
I AM, COCAINE.