The man who hates me,
He rallied his troops,
To judge people like me,
By putting us into groups,
He doesn’t understand me,
And he refuses to even try,
The hate and anger overwhelms him,
And he just wants me to die,
He doesn’t know if I am guilty or not,
And he don’t care either way,
And he never stops to rest,
Hunting me each and every day,
I somehow manage to escape his clutches,
I really don’t know how,
But one day my luck will run out,
And all though I am scared, I’m free for now,
He always knows where I am,
He’s always one step ahead,
But I can’t let him catch me,
Cos if he does I’ll surely be dead,
But on a day I relaxed and rested,
I woke to see him there,
Cos in love and war,
I realise nothing is fair,
I was put into chains,
And beaten all the way to town,
Bleeding and in pain,
I kept falling to the ground,
I stand trail accused,
And read my make believe rights,
My time on this earth,
Will only last one more night,
I am beaten once again,
And tied to a stake,
But if I resist,
Only more judgment it will make,
As he carries a flaming torch,
Everyone around they chant,
I beg and beg for forgiveness,
For which they do not grant,
I have beaten black and blue,
When I didn’t even want this fight,
And I catch a glimpse of the man’s eyes,
As he sets my stake a light,
This man who only has judgement and hate,
Who condemned and refused to let me free,
My judge, jury and executioner,
He, was me.

Wrote on 14/10/2022

As my tears fall into the river,
I get a cold and sudden shiver,
I take a sip of vodka to try and forget,
And I light up another cigarette,
But no matter how hard I’m trying,
I can’t stop myself from crying,
And as those tears run down from my eyes,
I confuse myself with ifs and whys,
And with my tears now going downstream,
I can only move on and dream,
My day is almost over and soon I’ll face another,
I tell my reflection about my day and no other,
But by now my tears have travelled to the sea,
With my memories, thoughts, and a piece of me,
I’m waking up with a sore throat and a bad head,
And I face the day with my problems now put to bed,
If my tears reach you, life will let me be,
As you will suffer the same as me
The world gave me troubles and taken them away too,
I cried, and now so will you.

Wrote on 06/08/2018

Dance with the Devil,
And dance to his tune,
Make a deal with the Devil,
As the end is coming soon,
The Lord Saviour,
Can’t save us all,
To not accept the Devils offer,
Will soon make you a fool,
Put on your dancing shoes,
And accept your fate,
And dance with the Devil,
Before it’s too late!

Beelzebub,
He likes to swing,
Beelzebub,
Will take everything.
Oh Lord,
Save my soul,
Oh Lord,
The Devil’s swallowed me whole,
Oh Lord,
Don’t you understand?
Oh Lord,
He has his own jazz band,
Oh Lord,
Can’t you see,
Oh Lord,
I’m no longer free,
Oh Lord,
The music’s starting to flow,
Oh Lord,
How can I say no?
Oh Lord,
The Devil see’s right through,
Oh Lord,
I no longer answer to you,

Oh Lord Satan,
You like to swing,
Oh Lord Satan,
You’ve taken everything,
Oh Lord Satan,
You have my soul,
Oh Lord Satan,
You’ve swallowed me whole,
Oh Lord Satan,
I know you understand,
Oh Lord Satan,
With your own jazz band,
Oh Lord Satan,
You can see,
Oh Lord Satan,
I am now free,
Oh Lord Satan,
The music’s starting to flow,
Oh Lord Satan,
How could I say no?
Oh lord Satan,
Me and God are through,
Oh Lord Satan,
I only answer to you!

Dance with the Devil,
And dance to his tune,
Make a deal with the Devil,
As the end is coming soon,
The Lord Saviour,
Can’t save us all,
To not accept the Devils offer,
Will soon make you a fool,
Put on your dancing shoes,
And accept your fate,
And dance with the Devil,
Before it’s too late!

Wrote on 27/10/2017

The eyes in the dark,
Watch me as I smoke,
They continue to torture me,
Like a perverted kind of joke,
They stare at me,
And I stare right back,
A flicker of light,
I ask, is it just a cat?
My mind starts going mad,
With all different scenarios,
I think I hear it howl,
As the wind blows,
As I focus,
And focus some more,
It gets brighter and brighter,
But it’s in a different place than before,
I finish my fag,
But my eyes are now tranced,
I blink several times,
But it’s gone in a glance,
I question myself,
Myself questions me,
And in my head I ask,
What the hell did I just see?
Was it a wolf?
Or something unknown,
If only there was daylight,
Its appearance could be shown,
Fear,
Still lingering my mind,
I am in the witching hour,
I shouldn’t be awake at this time,
Was it a spirit?
Or a wondering ghoul,
Or just a reflection,
Making me look a fool,
Whatever it was,
Shining so bright,
I know for certain,
I won’t sleep well tonight.

Wrote on 31/05/2021

Sweet poetic sounds,
From the Garden of Gaia,
Where love and peace,
Is the messiah,
Just as nature intended,
The journey of content,
No room for anger,
No need to repent,
Angels softly singing,
To melodies unknown,
In the Garden of Gaia,
Nature’s home,
Butterflies fluttering,
On the calmest of winds,
Flora and Fauna live as one,
Eternity never ends, never begins,
Soft smoke rises from the surrounding hills,
The lake of serenity calmly flows,
The air above so cleanly fragile,
And ground so soft below,
We have already found peace,
We just have to look,
A place where happiness lives forever,
And our senses shook,
In the Garden of Gaia,
Our souls on lease,
In the Garden of Gaia,
We are at one, in peace.

Wrote on 18/08/2021

I sit here late at night,
And try with all my might,
To stop tears rolling down my face,
I’m just in an unhappy face,
Listening to the radio,
And as the music plays, I let go,
I cry for the entire song,
All three minutes and twenty seconds long,

Oh Mr. Singer set me free,
Please let me be,
Cry with me,
The tears just keep rolling,
I can feel your pain,
Your lyrics speak to me,
And I don’t even know your name,
Cry with me,
Oh your beautiful voice,
Beating in my ears,
Oh we are the same,
We shed the same tears,
Cry with me,

She left me Yesterday,
For my best friend,
And as I write my letter,
And face my end,
I can see you in the corner,
Playing just for me,

Oh Mr. Singer set me free,
Please let me be,
Cry with me,
The tears just keep rolling,
I can feel your pain,
Your lyrics speak to me,
And I don’t even know your name,
Cry with me,
Oh your beautiful voice,
Beating in my ears,
Oh we are the same,
We shed the same tears,
Cry with me,
Cry with me,
Cry with me.

Wrote on 06/07/2018

I need to tell you something,
But I just don’t know how,
You make me so happy,
But I am really struggling with life right now,
You said I can tell you anything,
But I’m too scared to,
As I don’t want you realise how damaged I am,
And for me to lose you,
You agreed to marry me,
And now you are my wife,
But right now my depression,
Is cutting through me like a rusty knife,
I love you, so much,
And I’m just pushing you away,
Because when you ask what’s wrong?
I just say “nothing, go away”,
We made an oath,
Through sickness and in health,
Yet I’m the one breaking that,
By fighting this by myself,
I fight everything by myself
I suppose I’ve always had to,
But now I’m fighting,
Not to lose you,
All I want to do is to run and hide,
As I’m finding life so hard,
I know you would help me through this,
If only I dropped my guard,
Mental health has tried defeating me so many times,
And I have to fight every single day,
I will ask for the help that I know you’ll give,
Just not today……………

Wrote on 01/09/2018

I did my time,
Serving in hell,
I was a sinner,
And so I fell,
I dug my grave,
And I jumped in,
I was prepared to die,
For all my sins,
Suicide was a certainty,
I accepted my fate,
I didn’t know how to love,
All I knew was hate,
It drove me there,
My own head,
Dying wasn’t a problem,
As inside I was already dead,
This mean old world,
Had swallowed me whole,
And all I kept saying,
Was “Lord, save my soul”,

The devil himself,
He tempted me in,
Like a sucker I believed,
It would help my sin,
I asked myself,
When will this all stop?
As the fire in my hell,
Was getting far too hot,
I had a damaged mind,
And my soul was gone,
All this drinking and snorting,
Had been going on for far too long,
I would cry myself to sleep,
And I would wake up screaming,
And I could see my own death,
When I was dreaming,
This mean old world,
Had swallowed me whole,
And all I kept saying,
Was “Lord, save my soul”,

But He sent his angel,
To save me,
I didn’t know what to do,
But I was finally free,
And as I sit here,
With a smile upon my face,
I can’t help but remember,
That I was in such an awful place,
And as tears roll down,
My shaking, jittering cheek,
I realise just how strong I actually am,
And how much they said I was weak,
The devil nearly defeated me,
In spectacular fashion,
But my angel gave me the courage,
The fight and the passion,
This mean old world,
Had swallowed me whole,
And all kept saying,
Was “Lord, save my soul”,

In order to fight your demons,
You need the strength of a god,
You my angel,
Never walked the steps I trod,
But you were waiting for me,
One way or another,
I love you forever and always,
My friend, my angel, my lover.

Wrote on 31/12/2018

Hello doctor, we meet again,
Here to talk about my imaginary friend,
He won’t leave me alone, just like you,
Who to believe, you both say it’s true,
You call me crackers, mad and insane,
Then pump me full of pills and send me on my way,
Spark up a cigarette with me,
And tell me how I need to be happy,
Tell me how it’s wrong to self-harm,
And how many years you worked at the funny farm,
Tell me that I’m on the mend,
As you sit there pretending to be my friend,
Tell me that because of government cutbacks,
That the one I trusted has now been sacked,
Base your diagnosis on the books you read,
You’re keen on the subject, but your soul has yet to bleed,
Send me back to the waiting room next to Mad Sam,
Who brags about how he could kill a man,
He’s fit to work, straight from day release,
Stabbing nurses but comes in peace,
Sat here in my one bed flat,
With just me, a dragon and a talking cat,
Trying to stop the voices by banging my head against the wall,
Stuck in a predicament, not knowing who to call,
I phone for help, but the police arrive,
Two cars and a meat wagon, with batons by their side,
Stuck in a police cell, waiting to be assessed,
My voices getting louder, with me getting more stressed,
Hello Sir, we meet again,
Tell me about your imaginary friend,
Has he been causing you stress today?
Have you taken your pills, by the way?
Are you suicidal, yes or no?
Let me check my notes, then you can go,
Sent to the nut house for a week,
Where I sit on my bed and weep,
I smile, say yes, nod and agree,
A pat on the back, then I am free,
My mental health now a lot worse,
With the policeman who hit me, now reimbursed,
I sit on my bed and cry,
Asking myself, why, why, why,
I walk to a bridge with thoughts in my head,
I climb to the top, jump and then I’m dead,
The police arrive and a doctor with him,
Let me check my notes, this is so unlike him,
With another one of us,
Who is now dust to dust,
Swept under the carpet, for no-one to see,
It wasn’t the NHS, but the government who failed me,
So let’s all hope and pray,
That mental illness doesn’t come your way,
Cos no matter how many books you read,
They will never understand your needs,
And as you laugh and drink your beer,
No one will miss or cry or shed a single tear.

Wrote on 21/01/2020

I’ve felt mad and manic now,
For quite a while,
But in a world that does nothing but baffle me,
I can only sit back and smile,
Life feels so strange and weird,
It’s a confusing time we live in,
And the maddest thing about it all,
Is it made more sense to me when I was locked in a loony bin,
Right now I feel like I’m Alice,
Living in wonderland,
Constantly sipping tea with the mad hatter,
With everything around me getting out of hand,
It’s like I’m on a trip of acid,
Quickly going out my mind,
Maybe the world has always been crazy,
And I’ve just been blind,
Everyone is running round like headless chickens,
Whilst also doped up on diazepam,
I just need some of what you’re on,
Not a sniff but the whole gram,
I mean like what the actual fuck,
Am the only one who is seeing this?
Pure hatred and insanity,
That is covered up with laughter and bliss,
Is the apocalypse coming?
Has Jesus shown his face?
Is this the beginning of the end?
For the much despised human race,
Is everyone just enthusiastically ignorant?
Or has the world started to go stupid,
The people who defend us and make sense of it all,
Seem to have all vanished or have been muted,
Are we living in a fake world?
Like we’re living in a real life Truman show,
We live a pauper’s life,
But believe we live in a château,
I don’t know if I’m just getting old,
And I’ve turned into a moaning old bastard,
But when I thought I had a grip on life,
There seems to be another set of rules to master,
I’m too fat and I ache too much,
To keep up with the current rat race,
So I’m just going to light up another cigarette,
Pour a drink and get shit faced,
In euphoric ignorance,
I’ll be dazed and confused,
I’m going to sit back and smile,
Whilst my mind recovers from being battered and bruised,
Soon I will be drunk,
Residing in Earths biggest nut house,
And in a few hours when the madness kicks in,
Finally, I’ll be like everybody else.

Wrote on 18/09/2022