I’m a man of love,
And I’m a man of hate,
I always try to do what’s right,
But I’ve made too many mistakes,
I saw the sun rise,
And I saw the sun set,
Then I fell asleep,
And the peace and I never met,
I saw the dark,
I saw the light,
I rejected the peace,
Cos I saw the fight,
For all of this,
I am hated and the outcast,
And my time on this earth,
Shall not last,
I’m the bastard of kings,
The lowest of the low,
I am the forgotten breed,
With nothingness, the only thing I know,
A lover, a fighter,
A sinner, a saint,
But a man about to be forgiven,
I certainly ain’t,
I’m swinging from my noose,
And there’s nobody there,
I’m swinging from my noose,
Cos nobody listened and nobody cared,
Rot in the ground,
The judge screamed at me,
Swing from that noose,
And join death in the valley,
I did try to please you,
But my sins not forgiven,
Apparently my broken heart and soul,
Made me not worth living,
Death called me,
The only one to call me by my name,
The darkness of hate and death,
Me and it, are now the same,
Now I am in the eyes,
Of the sun and the moon,
And although I am dead,
My unheard voice shall come soon,
Reap the rewards,
Of the plants I did not sow,
And the emptiness of the void,
You shall all know,
I tried,
I tried you bastards I tried,
But my fate is sealed,
Cos your leader, she lied,
I am no more,
Not rich, not poor,
And I am now dead and empty,
Like I was before.
I’m sick of the sickness,
I am not in good health,
I have not no one,
Only me and myself,
A man unable to love,
Or a man who refuses to be broken hearted,
Cos the love I did have,
Died when we parted.
I vow to go,
Where the heavens will not speak,
A broken man,
Who had to turn the other cheek,
Goddamn you,
Sweet voice of memory,
I shall rise from this painful grave,
And once again be me,
Never beaten,
A survivor of your lies,
For my neck may be in that noose,
But it was only a fragment of me that died.
So be happy,
Do what you need to do,
You are just angry,
I learnt to survive without you,
Sweet angel of heaven,
Dark angel of hell,
I was once dead,
But I am certainly alive now.


Wrote on 10/01/2023

This is a poem about the stages of my depression through my divorce to my wife. I had lost all hope and hit a depression like never before. I was in a very dark place and unable to see a future for myself. Then that survivor inside of me (And with the help from close friends) I started to see positivity.