A life full of demons,
Circling around in my mind,
And a sense of belonging on this earth,
That I am constantly trying to find,
With my heart broken,
And my trust non-existent,
With no true friends by my side,
And the family I do have all far and distant,
I fight everyday alone,
In a war that no one should have to fight,
But when I’m surrounded with nothing but darkness,
I try and see the light,
I try and cope in ways that I shouldn’t,
Convincing myself that, that is the way I will heal,
But it’s just a quick fix,
That for a few hours stops me from being able to feel,

So when I am at my weakest,
Out of my face on drugs and when I’m completely drunk,
When the devil convinces me there is no future or hope,
And I am at the lowest one man could have sunk,
I will stand up and I will shout,
I can do this, I truly can,
I will rise up and I shall survive,
Cos nothing he can throw at me will destroy this broken man,

And from the day of my birth,
He has punished me for reasons I don’t know,
And he tries to end my life every single day,
But no matter how hard he tries, I won’t let go,
He clouds my vision,
And convinces me that I’m weak,
He expects me to surrender by telling me I’m worthless,
But he tried that same tactic last week,

Cos yes I am weak, yet I am also strong,
Yes, I am powerless, yet I can attain full control,
Yes, I am dead inside, yet I am fully alive,
And yes, I am too far gone, yet I still have my soul,

So when I do eventually go to sleep,
In my wooden bed deep in the ground,
And my next chapter take’s me to where no one knows,
I hope that I hear the angels sound,
And if there is a heaven, and a hell,
I will get to speak to this coward called the devil,
And I will tell him how I survived,
And how he was never able to drag me down to his level,

I will say to him,
In my strongest and most confident voice,
That my life….. was my life,
And the time of my death was not your choice,
I will say to him,
You told me I was worthless and sent your demons my way,
Gave me a life full of hurt,
And made this grown man cry each and every day,

So hear me, my sweet pathetic devil,
Or whoever you may be,
I know you kept trying,
But I stood strong and you never were able to kill me.
Cos right now I’m alive,
And that’s the most precious gift of all,
I will not be a victim to the devil or my mind,
I am a survivor and nobody’s fool,

So I tell that devil,
Each and every single morning of every single day,
No matter what you chuck at me remember this,
Bitch….. I’m here to stay.

Wrote On: 29/08/2023